Hidden Beauty Revealed...

My eyes only see you...

2005-04-21T18:22:51Z

Ignite the funeral pyre,
And let's close the casket lid on everything,
On this institution and on every memory burn it all in effigy,
Let's watch it burn.

Fell into the depths of a broken heart again,
I'll die alone, but I get lost in your eyes,
And I can't help but feel like I'll never find love there again.

Dressed in white you mourned nothing,
As you led the precession with a smile,
There was no eulogy given,
For no kind words could be conjured up this time.

No not a single word of praise had escaped from your lips,
On that day, there was no more need,
To conjure up things that made things seem ok.

Fell into the depths of a broken heart again,
And I'll die alone, but I get lost in your eyes,
And I can't help but feel like I'll never find love there again.

As you walk on, ash falls like snow,
Can you express regret?,
Or just let a smile show,
Please just walk on,
Don't respond,
I already know.

Fell into the depths of a broken heart again,
And I'll die alone, but I get lost in your eyes,
And I can't help but feel like I'll never find love there again.

*Cyn*

It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss...

2005-04-20T06:36:45Z

New layout and icon comments!!!!!

*Cyn*

Poison the well...

2005-04-19T00:16:33Z

Another day passes by.
Another attempt at love remains unrequited.
Why do I even bother?
I should have learned from the past.
I am but a statue, impervious to love.
This punctured heart is mine,
Becomes a handful of dust.
Dust. Hope has now wilted away,
Wilted. Along with these dreams
That became emptiness.
A final exit becomes clear, I am self destructive.
A product of this solitude, I am riddled with shards.
One simple wish now dies.
Was my request so great?
One simple wish now dies.
Once again I drown in its denial.
Was it so complicated?
Once again. I've been spit upon.
Taken with a grain of salt, my life is gone.

*Cyn*

New Song!!!!!!

2005-04-18T07:48:08Z

This is prolly my best writting this year! COMMENTS MOTHER FUCKERS!

"What the price we pay?"

I sew my tear ducts shut,
i sew the wound up,
ill crash out of existance,
by the wings of deaths grip,
ill turn this life out.

Whats the price you pay,
to obtain sanity,
i bleed today,
ive bleed so long,
i dont rememer what its like to smile,
but i wont surrender,
ill get up,
get back,
burn your pride,
take my time,
and take back whats mine.

The world turn black,
rotting inside my brain,
this was not suppose to be,
this is not me,
this will be sacrificed to the gates of hell,
i wont stay here and dwell on what could of been,
what never was,
what never will be, again.

I wont fail again,
trust me while burning like the sun,
i wont fail again,
the dark hides my scars from you,
i wont fall again,
fuck this world and paper minds,
I WILL NOT FAIL AGAIN!...

*Cyn*

Time is running on empty and the cast is running out...

2005-04-11T19:04:51Z

My knucles have turned to white...

Theres no turning back tonight...

Kiss me one last time...

*Cyn*...

My life...

2005-04-11T08:15:29Z

This is my life...

Finally a good job,
the best fiance,
no more drama,
great friends,
great family,
soon hella lot o money,
a gift to write,
my aunt finally desided to sell me her car,
a gift to write,
a gift in computers,
but most importantly...
the gift to say FUCK YOU!!!!

*Cyn*

Alone...

2005-04-11T06:30:35Z

Alone tonight im suffering from the night,
we never met again,
and her voice is rining in my head,
i remember the face,like the face of god,
i remember the night we never made it home alive.

I wonder if better without you,
i think ive been here before,
the race against the feeling when dreams are familiar,
a feeling i cant ignore.

Your face looks familiar,
i think ive kissed you once before,
and that now that matters now
tonight were going to love like its the end of the world,
and you can be anything,
im gonna be here,
gonna be here,
its got to be tonight.

I wonder if better without you,
i think ive been here before,
the race against the feeling when dreams are familiar,
a feeling i cant ignore.

the only one and i wouldnt leave but i wouldnt stay.
i wont deny, i have to fight the feeling,
i remember the lipstick feeling,
i remember the night we never made it home alive.

I wonder if better without you,
i think ive been here before,
the race against the feeling when dreams are familiar,
a feeling i cant ignore.

*Cyn*

Sunrise...

2005-04-10T21:32:17Z

As I look into your eyes I see the sunrise,
The light behind your face helps me realise.

Will we sleep and sometimes love until the moon shines,
Maybe the next time I'll be yours and maybe you'll be mine.

I don't know if it's even in your mind at all,
It could be me,
At this moment in time,
Is it in your mind at all,
It should be me, it could be me,
Forever.

Wandering through life will love come home to you,
And the love you want forever, will they be true to you.

Will we sleep and sometimes love until the moon shines,
Maybe the next time I'll be yours and maybe you'll be mine.

I don't know if it's even in your mind at all,
It could be me,
At this moment in time,
Love's indescribable,
It should be me, it could be me,
Forever.

Easy, ready, willing, over time,
Where does it stop where do you dare me to draw the line,
You've got the body now you want my soul,
Don't even think about it say no go.

I don't know if it's even in your mind at all,
It could be me,
At this moment in time,
Is it in your mind at all,
It should be me, it could be me,
Forever...

*Cyn*

Dear lord...

2005-04-09T15:38:39Z

Dear lord i pray today to take her away,
not from this world,
but from my dreams,
the dreams are where it hurts the most,
memories i want but not the ones im haunted by,
it seems im not over it,
but i am,
i just hate the feeling of back then,
i wish it was a good one,
but im affraid its not,
the look in her eyes burns through me,
the dreams are much to real,
the scent of her purfume masks me,
her eyes enchant,
her kiss just as magical,
her good bye just as shattering,
i dont want this anymore,
please take it away,
i wish for tommorow to be a better day,
im scared to sleep anymore,
the dreams bring tears,
my eyes become sore,
so dear lord please take her away,
not from this world,
but from my dreams,
the dreams are when it hurts the most...

*Cyn*

I just cant look, its killing me...

2005-04-09T12:41:46Z

Make it stop... the dreams... the thoughts... everything... its fucking killing me...

*Cyn*

Late nite madness...

2005-04-09T08:43:48Z

You love me but you dont know who i am,
im torn between the life i lead and where i stand...

Boy i swear that shit is the truth, finding a balance between myself and what i do is such a bitch, i wonder if ill ever find the common ground, we have the ego half then then the man half, i love being a responsible man but i also love my ego side and shit, so complicated... but its odd cause everyone thinks i have such a big ego, when im really a self concious freak, i just dont like to act as if i have low self asteem cause nothing good comes from it! fuck this is a bitch...

*Cyn*

Reflection, such sweet cleansation...

2005-04-09T06:58:41Z

Here is a new lil diddy, about my pastttttt so people can actualy read it and be like oh i know something about him, though its sorta detailed you will have no idea unless you lived it! ;)

"Somethings are better left alone"

It started off when i was only 18,
typical world of disbelief,
playing a show not knowing inside,
today was the day i died.

Meet and greet like every show,
this time was diffrent,
when i seen those brown eyes,
i remember feeling so empty inside,
losing grip of all my pride,
angered at first not to be lead astray,
that was the end of that day.

Months go by with i.m.'s shared,
i never felt such joy,
i never felt so scared,
at a concert is when it happend,
i took her hand looked into her eyes,
she told me yes,
i wanted to cry,
that was the beging of this lie.

I held on with everything i had,
trying to make her happy,
trying to make her stay,
some of the happiest times of my life went by,
burning, playing, laying in bed,
all the secrets we told,
never wanting to be apart,
little did i know about a broken heart.

I came to you for all my dreams,
we hurt eachother so much,
or so it seems,
we placed the blame on one another,
were we searching for the answer,
i cant believe it turned out like it did,
so many tears shed over one another,
blood shed by both even while together,
jealousy, anger, mixed emotions held high,
you never realised every time you said good bye,
my heart broke more and more each time,
till i finally walked away.

Some say i did wrong,
some say so did you,
it takes two to fuck things up the way they were,
we've both done things out of bitterness and spite,
it seems so pointless to fight,
i cant battle this pain inside,
i always loved you even though you dont think so,
i know where my heart stood,
i know the truth behind all of the lies.

Your wit always amazed me,
looking into your eyes,
this is about broken hearts,
this is about you and me,
i can hold the memories,
close to my heart forever,
as you chose to hate and bathe,
in my blood forever and always...

*Cyn*

Girl you got me twisted...

2005-04-08T05:25:19Z

I havent wrote in awhile so im gonna give it a shot...

"Never Existed"

I cant hold on to yesterday,
so many thing i wanted to say,
i cant change a thing from the past,
memories so old built not to last.

Battling to escape the images of your face,
its so hard to bare the pain of seperation,
i know you will never be replaced,
confiding in the dark for this ressurection.

I know ive changed and so have you,
growing up wasnt what you wanted to do,
im torn open for all to see,
this is about broken hearts,
this is about me.

Day by day this life gets more cold,
i become more dark as i grow old,
we all lose in the end,
so why do i care,
ill forget everything,
like this world never fucking existed.

Not about anyone in particular it just worked lol!

*Cyn*

To many drunken nights...

2005-04-03T18:22:04Z

I am so sick right now, dont know why (hung over) *cough* but anyways, i think im sleepin most of today away, then im going back out to the bar with pat... AGAIN jesus h christ what is happing to me! i quit! well... maybe after tonight ;) sunday is my day of rest. i have people telling me i called them last nite, and i dont remember a fucking thing, woo someone confinsgate my phone when i drink lol. well anyways im out...

*Cyn*

Im feeling this very much today...

2005-03-31T17:17:36Z

3 DOORS DOWN

Let Me Go

One more kiss could be the best thing
But one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me

[Chorus]
You love me but you dont know who I am
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you dont know who I am
So let me go
Let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
When I know what I'm goin through

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me

[Chorus]
You love me but you dont know who I am
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand
You love me but you dont know who I am
So let me go
Just Let me goo...
Let me go

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside I know
I knowww..
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows
Who knows

[Chorus]
You love me but you dont know who I am
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you dont know Who I am
So let me go
Just let me go

and you me but you dont
you love me but you dont
you love me but you dont know who I am
and you love me but you dont
you love me but you dont
you love me but you dont know me

Maybe emo, but ah well, its how im currently feeling...

*Cyn*

Stretch my wings to fly, you can fall on me...

2005-03-29T18:18:42Z

I hope Mel had a great day at her first day at work, im hella bored, i think neil and i are about to start writting some new songs, were tired of doing the old ones, so thats always a blast, FUCK NEGATIVE PEOPLE, ive had it up to here with negative shit, im ready to fucking hit someone lol, eh if only it were that easy to hit a 70 year old, i couldnt do it lol, ah well, im gonna be out all day, if anyone needs to get ahold of me hit the cell, neil and i are going to jog a mile and a half, oh boy! here comes a heart attack lol, naw just gettin us in better shape, were pretty sloppy right now, then were going out and writting new songs, then prolly go out somewhere, its a beautiful day we plan on using it to the max! like i said, especially Mel hit me up and ill call you back, we need ta chat! nothing bad, just about me plotting grams death! lol just kidding! but hit me up!

*Cyn*

Man you ever just feel like shit...

2005-03-29T06:14:13Z

Moving faster,
i hate the shore,
i'll swim as far out as i can,
my bodies tired,
my legs are sore,
and i'll gladly welcome,
the water my lungs let in,
drifting faster with every minute,
passing the chances to turn it all around,
i never said goodbye,
but just read my lips,
i won't make a sound,
i wont make a sound...

*Cyn*

Alone in december...

2005-03-27T17:45:54Z

you always amazed me
but thats the past
i kept silent and it rained for days
my inside were drenched
but i guess that's the part of growing up
i never wanted to learn
and i grew into the man
that you never knew
but i wouldn't be this way
if it wasn't for you
100 thank you's
it this is love
fairy tales never came true
judies are black in full bloom
and i died in the womb
take it back, all that's gone
it's all still there like you left it
december stayed the same
nothing ever changed but you
every dream civered in dents
love can't fly tonight
couples will rest, i'll be sleepless
so cry yourself to sleep
this is about broken hearts
this is about me
bending again for nothing
i'd run to you but pain awaits
i'm coming home
but i'll be late
no deeper than imagination can be
sight with nothing to see
what's faith if i can't believe
it's everything
a cure, but i make it a disease
God take me because i hate me...

*Cyn*

Whats an addiction with out clarity...

2005-03-25T10:01:07Z

New song...

"My Broken Dreams"

Your soul, reflects my life,
its cold and dead,
theres nothing left,
a shell of what i use to be,
fighting for air, this just cant be,
fragmented by my fears,
i cant seem to end this pain,
another year, always more shame.

This self destruction,
is my savior,
my wounds wont heal,
this is my god,
the scars will bleed one last time,
swallow these pills,
wash it away,
now im nothing but yesterday.

I can destroy myself as i please,
came to this world as a disease,
i wish i could take away my past,
but you cant erase the scars that last,
all my tears have bled dry,
can you hear my soul cry,
this is my only cure,
hoping for the end to near.

This self destruction,
is my savior,
my wounds wont heal,
this is my god,
the scars will bleed one last time,
swallow these pills,
wash it away,
now im nothing but yesterday,
my reflection is shattered by broken dreams,
losses of ones close,
or at least it seemed,
when im gone will you...

Will you hold this close,
forever and always.

*Cyn*

Happy birthday to me...

2005-03-24T14:58:10Z

Sense cem and alisha desided they were too cool in my last post to wish me a happy birthday, i desided to post a pic to cheer me up! After the bar got to chill with Society 1 for a bit amazingly nice guys from cali and they gave me a free poster for my birthday lots o love for society 1!!!!!! and its ok cem and alisha, matt zayne from s1 is better than you two anyways!

*Cyn*

Where is the mother fuckin love!!!

2005-03-24T10:02:41Z

Wheres the love people???

*Cyn*

Kirby is gay...

2005-03-22T07:25:23Z

I think its funny that people critisize about rapping, then they dont under stand when your a singer all you do is write lyrics and alot of the time it ryhmes hense the samething as rapping so how that may seem funny is odd when frankly to put a rhyme together is the most simplistic thing on earth, u learn how to do it in kindergarden so if you dont know how to rap or make a rhyme your pretty patheric and you my friend would be the funny one! sooooooo concluding kirby is just as basic as am i and any other person who thinks there "cool" and can make a rap because a fucking handicap kid at burger king can, and no he beat me what?? once to the how many times i embrassed him? face it kid, your a beginer, trying to rap at a higher level, then post it in your lj so your beatch and friends think your hot stuff, just remember you may be "good" sometimes at flowing but when it comes down to being hard im not the one hiding in another state from the thugs! remember that! ;)

*Cyn*

Im such a crack whore...

2005-03-20T21:34:07Z

Come one, come all and get your sign!!!...

*Cyn*

Depressed...

2005-03-20T07:28:59Z

Im so tired of this, i cant even fucking... Fuck it... and fuck you too, and fuck everything else...

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
And no one knows
What it's like to be hated
To be fated to telling only lies

But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings Like i do, and i blame you!
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

Discover C.Y.N. say it
No one knows what its like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes
No one knows how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies

No one knows what its like
To be the bad man, to be the sad man
Behind blue eyes.

*CyN*

fuck_you_4ever @ 2005-03-17T23:34:00

2005-03-18T04:38:45Z

New songgggg...

"Circumstances failed"

I tried though the circumstances failed,
the prophecy has died,
nothing left for us to try,
im losing my mind, tonight.

I never cared much to be like you,
never cared what you wanted to do,
this hate never felt so right,
Were losing grip of everything,
can you tell me when you find the meaning,
maybe you could just tear me down.

I fucked everything that this world had,
i didnt want the burden of carying your dreams,
i erased you with my mind, i take what i find,
and end all of your dreams tonight.

Though i enjoy the pain,
ill just say good bye,
dont give a fuck for your world,
you just lost your soul,
i captured your innocence,
and fucked your life away...

*CyN*